Jip. This instead. The Hennessey Ford VelociRaptor 6x6.
As is reported in Car Magazine, Hennessey, our favourite American name responsible for the yet to be proven fastest car in the world - the Venom F5 - has taken a Ford VelociRaptor 6x6 (already outrageous enough) and made it even more outrageous. So outrageous in fact that those who see one are like... Jusis, marra for what!?
Take your Land Cruiser and gaan huil. Take your Landie and go dig a hole. This monster, better described as a tank, is the epitome of what we think when we think American and no doubt, South Africans will absolutely love it.
Without getting into too much detail, Hennessey have done enough to this beast to make it race to 100km/h in 5 seconds. As a stand alone stat, beaming from some South Rand Scoobie with an extra turbo fitted by a Lenasia mechanic, it's impressive. But, digested in light of the fact that it's a tank (with 6 wheels and high enough to get injured upon exit) it is stupid impressive.
Stupid good! Stupid amazing!
Now tell us you don't want one of these on your Mpumulanga farm for chasing poachers. Heck, if the Kruger had ten of these, the rhino crisis would be over as there ain't no poacher escaping one of these for a million years.
It looks bazooka-resistent. That's it. A moving bomb-repellent from Texas that is a huge F-U to Musk and the boys out west, and a marker of rubust American culture that still believes bigger and dirtier is better, and that the 80s euphoria of America against the world (Terminator, Rocky and Rambo) is still very much alive.
Now, whether you prescribe to that narrative or not, or merely like the look of the thing without the baggage of trying to prove a point - unfortunately only 300 will be made and you can be assured all 300 will go to Americans. However, if demand is high enough (and you're rich enough) you too can probably demand one and get one for about R4.5 million.
Jip. Bomb repellents come with lots of zeros too, and that there is the sad truth of it.