New BMW X5 revealed - predictable and nice

The new X5 is here and it's pretty much what you would expect. It is very nice and that's pretty much all there is to it.

So, here's the bad news. The new BMW X5 will arrive with a V8 and we won't get it. It's perhaps the only irritating thing about the new X5. Still, the ones we'll get are a little better than the previous, and we're especially impressed with the new rear end.

But, dare we say it, does it, in some distant-relative sense, resemble a Mercedes out back? There's something about the flow to the rear lights, when seen from the side especially, that resemble the famous German competition. 

Be that as it may, it is a resemblance that quickly fades because everything else about it is distinctly BMW. It's very nice, which is both good and bad because let's be honest, it's as memorable as yesterday's breakfast.

We'll get two derivatives for now (and a M-powered version one day we hope), which are both impressive: The X5 M50d and X5 xDrive30d. The former will hit 100km/h in 5.2 seconds and the latter in 6.5, which is annoyingly good if you contextualise it.

It means that parents (because only parents will buy this) will reach 100km/h as quickly or quicker than your Golf GTI, which is disheartening if you've been saving up for your GTI since your beard first started sprouting.

Then, there's everything else about this new one, which is too boring to write about here. Like a fancy infotainment system and suspension. It all comes together to offer the most brilliantly forgettable SUV that will do everything that the Land Rover Discovery and Range Rover does, except not as well...

Well. That's that.