The Toyota Century is the most retro piece of work since the mafia.
When we visited the Tokyo Motor Show last October, Toyota arrived with a whole series of retro-shaped machines and we weren't too sure what to think of it all. Now, with time on our side, and numbers that have made us sit up, we are still more confused than ever.
Because my brother from another mother, how's this: One of those machines, the Toyota Century, is a limousine with warm, wooly seats and a face out of the 80s that costs the same as a top-of-the-top Mercedes S Class or Range Rover or, if you're interesting, a very sweet Porsche 911.
And it's a Toyota son! A Toyota that looks like this...
Yes, it is a Toyota for the price of a Mclaren 540C but without the obsessive racing pedigree - or the face. Rather, what you'll get here is a magazine rack and curtains that look like they've been pulled out of a Karoo kitchen.
It looks like there is a body in the boot; that the man being chauffeured is a part of the triad mafia and if he doesn't get shot and killed in the next two years, he will likely die of lung cancer. That's because we imagine that he smokes more cigarettes that a tobacco farm produces and that the inside of the Century smells like an astray.
It looks the sort of car where Vietnamese gangsters speak about rhino horn smuggling; like the sort of car where the Italian mafia decides whether or not to move their base from Chicago to Las Vegas.
It just looks dodgy. Dodgy AF!
So maybe, just maybe that's reason we kind of like it in a way.
In a motoring world smothered by 21st century luxury, there's something refreshing about the nostalgia of this flashback and something invigorating about the dodgy.
No doubt, this machine is like 'Yo - get in and don't say a word.'
And you're like - 'Please just don't kill me!'
Now that's a feeling you don't often feel when you look at a car so why not just embrace it? Thanks Toyota.