New all-electric Mercedes EQ C coming in (not so) hot!

Jip, next year Mercedes will give us a Tesla Model X and I-Pace rival. It's all batteries from here on out gents so get used to it!

First and foremost, let's be clear: This is not a good-looking Mercedes and its face looks like a turn of the century Land Cruiser come cheap Chinese knock off. We are not impressed. That said, it will look better in the flesh and possibly age quite well, but hey, we aren't fortune tellers.

But, what we can tell you about the future though is very clear: Electric SUVSs will become as synonymous as Toyota Ubers (I mean, Corollas) and no doubt, we hate that as much as you do.

That said, the I-Pace is very nice looking but what in the world were Mercedes thinking when they drew this droopy face? Did they forget that humans who buy electric SUVs will still be humans and will still judge their purchases on their looks (for the most part that is).

Well, maybe they weren't thinking at all because they thought that you wouldn't care because of this. It has a series of electric motors that get you to 100km/h in 5.1 seconds, which is just another 'nother reason not to buy a GTI.

Not because GTIs are not great, because they are, and not because we don't like GTIs, because we do, but because no one wants to be embarrassed by a soccer Mommy in an electric SUV. No one! And be assured, you will be embarrassed by her because even your best shifting and bravery in South Africa's favourite hot hatch will not catch this off the line.

Eish! Sad days brother.

This new EQ C boasts a 402km driving range by the way, which is good because if you're driving to Cape Town from Joburg, you will literally just make it to make to Bloem for a top up. Literally. By like three kilometers!

But, sorry for you Cape Town. Drive to Joburg and you will miss Beaufort-Wes by a shocking 60kms or so, and will have to spend your evening under the Karoo stars until a tow-truck picks you up (with his mags and all) and then laughs at you for buying this instead of something else.

Well jokes on him. While he over revs his Nissan Hardbody's V6 that smokes to high heavens, you can boast all about your torque measure, which comes in just shy of 800Nm. That's more than a C63 AMG by the way, so yoh, hade son!

Indeed, this is an interesting time that we live in and one that we're not so sure that we like very much.

Because, until Golf gives us an electric GTI, my feelings are that we won't really care about this Mercedes, or its competitors. Nope. Not at all.

We want these motors in boy racers where they deserve to be!